Six Guys You Should Sleep with Before You Get Married

I wrote this article for a different site, and it was never used, so I thought I’d put it up here, because hey, it’s good advice!

Some people meet the love of their lives early. They move easily through dating, engagement and marriage without ever doubting their decision. Then, there are the rest of us. In our late twenties and up, we wonder if the guy we’re with right now is really Mr. Right. We wonder if we’ve really sewn all of our wild oats. The truth is, there are a lot of great Mr. Wrongs you should try out before you settle down with Mr. Right. Here are some of the essentials:

1.George Clooney (aka The Adult)
I’m not saying you need to have a full-blown December-May romance but a fling with a man five to fifteen years older than you can help you think of yourself as an adult, and let’s face it, it’s nice to date a guy who takes you to the theater instead of a frat party. Double excitement points if he’s your professor, T.A., or boss!

2. Zac Efron (aka, the Arm Candy)
Young, sweet, eager to learn and eager to please. Sure, you have nothing to talk about, but check out the looks you get when you walk down the street with him. Consider dating and teaching him as your gift to the woman he’ll eventually marry. Double excitement points if you’re his professor, T.A., or boss!

3. Jack Black (aka The Good Time Guy)
Want to go to a party? OK! How about the pre-party and the after-party, then go out for Bloody Marys and bungee jumping the next morning? He’s not the sexiest guy, but The Good Time Guy is fun and exciting. You may wind up a little exhausted, but there’s something to be said for never having to talk about politics, taxes, or the future and laughter is actually an aphrodisiac (unless you’re being laughed at, that’s not good).

4.Robert Pattinson (aka The Continental)
Thin, well-dressed, sophisticated, no he’s not gay, he’s just British! The accent makes you swoon, the teeth, not so much, but indulging your inner Anglophile can introduce you to a world of new experiences. Warning: If the word ‘foreskin’ freaks you out, you may want to skip this one.

5. Johnny Depp (aka Mr. Serious)
A little troubled, a little misunderstood, he looks at you with those eyes and you melt. You know that he needs your help to save the world and save his soul. Men on a mission are notoriously bad at the ordinary tasks of married life (after all, it’s hard to change a diaper when you’re the chosen one) but all of that intensity is a definite plus in bed!

6.Josh Duhamel (aka The Booty Call)
He does one thing, but he does it well. You don’t really like him all that much, and strangely, that’s what you like most about him. Dating a guy that ONLY has sex appeal is liberating. Whatever your secret sexual fantasies are, you’re ok telling him (and doing him) because you don’t really care what he thinks about you.

Did I forget anyone?

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Six Guys You Should Sleep with Before You Get Married

  1. Heidi Gassel says:

    You wrote: Did I forget anyone?

    My answer:
    7. Your fiance!

    Marta- Great advice and funny article!!! Love it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s